Sense and No Sensibility
by TheatrePlode
Summary: A list of drabbles and misgivings to these two. All done with a drabble generator, so will make no sense but still entertaining.
1. Of Kangaroos and Christmas

**First "Adult" rated XD. This is all done with a drabble generator, because I suck at writing. But these are pretty funny. OOC mainly on Kanda's part, but its because generators don't know that he's an asshole. Mainly for fun :) These three were done using the same words.**

**To have a go yourself: http:// prillalar. com / drabbles/ (take out the spaces)**

**Characters are to their owners! :D**

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**I'm Dreaming Of A Flirtatious Christmas**

It was Christmas Eve. Kanda sat forwardly Up the wall, sipping steamy eggnog.

He looked at the alluring Packtrain hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Lavi had hung it there, just before they looked at each other wantonly and then fell into each other's arms and Sucked each other's Penis.

If only I hadn't been so heavenly, Kanda thought, pouring a erotic amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Lavi might not have got so kissable and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away an exy tear and held his Midriff in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a provocative voice lifted nakedly up in song.

_I'm dreaming of a flirtatious Christmas_

_Just Nothing like a beer after extending the wine._

Kanda ran to the door. It was Lavi, looking hot all over with snow.

"I missed you perspicaciously," Lavi said. "And I wanted to Suck your Penis again."

Kanda hugged Lavi and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Lavi said.

"I think so too," Kanda said and they Sucked each other's Penis until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted Kangaroo Eye and lived huskily until Kanda got drunk again.

* * *

**1000 Packtrain Kangaroos**

Kanda paced huskily back and forth. Flirtatious dread filled his heart. Lavi should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. _Oh, my alluring love,_ Kanda thought. _Where could you be?_

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Lavi had been taken hostage by Hot Penis, a supervillain who had the city in a state of kissable terror. Kanda fainted dead away, Nothing like a beer after extending the wine..

When he came to, there was a bump on his Eye and the flirtatious dread had returned. "Lavi, my exy honey bunny," he cried out forwardly. "What is Hot Penis doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing perspicaciously as he Sucked him in the Midriff.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Kanda remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 Packtrain Kangaroos, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Kanda ordered in a supply of Packtrain and set to work, folding Kangaroos until his Eye was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last Kangaroo when Lavi walked in the front door.

"Lavi!" Kanda screamed and threw himself into Lavi's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 Packtrain Kangaroos and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing Up the wall. He kissed Lavi nakedly on the Midriff.

"Actually," Lavi said, pulling away wantonly, "I was rescued by the Provocative Condom. He's a new superhero in town." Lavi sighed. "And he's really erotic."

The flirtatious dread came back. "But you're steamy to be back here with me, right?"

Lavi checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Provocative Condom for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay heavenly, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

Kanda choked back a sob and started folding another Kangaroo. Then he went out and got drunk instead.

* * *

**And now onto probably the most disturbing.**

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* * *

  
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**I Saw Lavi Kissing Santa Claus**

Kanda woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one kissable box that looked like a Condom.

Then Kanda noticed that Lavi was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Kanda thought that he would surprise Lavi. Maybe even sneak up behind him and Suck him on his flirtatious Midriff. That always made Lavi hot.

Kanda crept wantonly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its erotic lights, and the presents, heaped up nakedly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Lavi. Kissing someone.

Kanda was so angry, he picked up a Wash rag from a table and threw it perspicaciously Up the wall.

They both looked around.

"Lavi, you heavenly Kangaroo!" Kanda yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Kanda looked and then rubbed his Eye and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Lavi said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a provocative kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Kanda said forwardly. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be steamy."

That seemed reasonable. Kanda went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, Nothing like a beer after extending the wine.. He made Kanda's Penis feel all alluring.

"You see?" Lavi said huskily and Kanda saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

* * *

**Why is Santa so jolly? because he knows where all the naughty boys live.**


	2. Of Dolphins and Turtles

**Uh, yeah, I'm bored....and procrastinating :)**

**New words, Paring has also been reversed.**

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**The Subjugated Terror Of The Snow**

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Kanda and Lavi went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Kanda hit Lavi in his Elbow with a big Seamed iceball. It hurt a lot, but Kanda kissed it Erratically and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really Fiercer snow man!" Kanda said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Lavi said. "That would be more Cockeyed and politically correct."

"I know," Kanda said. "We can make a snow Dolphin. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up Stinking and made a Groundless snow Dolphin. Kanda put on a Marsh for the Ribs. The Dolphin was almost as big as Lavi.

"It looks Demonstrative," Kanda said Affectionately. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Lavi said and held up a Penciled Turtle. "I found this In the Arctic." He put the Turtle onto the Dolphin's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the Dolphin, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl As beautiful as a mermaid sitting under a waterfall with the sun shining out of her ass.

Lavi screamed Delicately and ran but the snow Dolphin chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow Dolphin Embraced him Thickly.

"Nobody does that to my little Inflamed Refugee," Kanda screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow Dolphin through the Thigh. It fell down and Kanda kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Lavi said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The Turtle lay in the yard until a Longitudinal child picked it up and took it home.

* * *

**Next one, I was pissing myself.**

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**Lavi and Kanda**  
by William Shakespeare

_Enter Lavi_

_Kanda appears above at a window_

**Lavi:**  
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?  
It is the Turtle, and Kanda is the Dolphin.  
Arise, Penciled Dolphin, and Embrace the Longitudinal Marsh.  
See, how he leans his Ribs upon his Elbow!  
O, that I were a glove upon that Elbow,  
That I might touch that Ribs!

**Kanda:**  
O Lavi, Lavi! wherefore art thou Lavi?  
What's in a name? That which we call a Thigh  
By any other name would smell as Inflamed  
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "As beautiful as a mermaid sitting under a waterfall with the sun shining out of her ass"  
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,  
Thou mayst prove Groundless.

**Lavi:**  
Swain, by yonder Longitudinal Marsh I swear  
That tips In the Arctic the Demonstrative Refugee--

**Kanda:**  
O, swear not by the Marsh, the Cockeyed Marsh,  
That Thickly changes in its Seamed orb,  
Lest that thy love prove likewise Seamed.  
Sweet, Subjugated night! A thousand times Subjugated night!  
Parting is such Fiercer sorrow,  
That I shall say Subjugated night till it be morrow.

_Exit above_

**Lavi:**  
Sleep dwell upon thy Ribs, peace in thy Elbow!  
Would I were sleep and peace, so Affectionately to rest!  
Stinking will I to my Penciled Thigh's cell,  
Its help to Embrace, and my Inflamed Thigh to tell.

* * *

**Affectionately Tripping**

Lavi tripped along Stinking. He was on his way to meet his lover, Kanda, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a Dolphin hopping along, carrying a Refugee in its mouth.

Lavi was almost In the Arctic when he came across a Groundless cake, lying alone on a Cockeyed plate. "That must be a treat from my Longitudinal bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked Fiercer, so he ate it.

It gave him the most Demonstrative tingling sensation in his Elbow. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Kanda.

When Kanda came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Lavi cried Delicately.

"Your Ribs! And your Thigh!" Kanda said. "They're Penciled! Can't you feel it?"

Lavi felt his Ribs and his Thigh. They were indeed quite Penciled. "Oh, no!" Lavi said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that Groundless cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Kanda said. "I got you a Turtle. It must have been that Subjugated man who lives nearby. He acts a little Erratically, ever since he Embraced a Marsh."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Lavi sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Kanda said Thickly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your Ribs is really Inflamed like that."

"Really?" Lavi dried her tears. Lavi kissed Kanda and it was an entirely Seamed sensation, As beautiful as a mermaid sitting under a waterfall with the sun shining out of her ass.

They spent the night having entirely Seamed sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

* * *

**Turtle or cake?**

**THE CAKE IS A LIE!**


End file.
